shelly said: i caught myself in the mirror, flexing my muscles in my arm, and lo and behold, there was no longer...
Shelly said: i snack on apple, walnuts and a light cream cheese. i'm one of those people that just love all too...
Amanda said: As a wearer for about 3 weeks now I can see the scepticism, I was the same..........how on earth can...
greta said: i have all this fat around my but and upper legs, i have started eatin heathy ,, seriously i used...
Kelly said: I am a 42 yr old woman , 5'10", 148 pounds, BP 104/80 the other day and several times I...
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10 EASY ways to get REALLY FAT quickly
Here are ten ways to ensure that you get nice and fat and unhealthy really quickly!
10 - Eat less
Yep. Eating less is a sure fire way to slow down your metabolism, cause you to binge on junk food and make you feel tired and lazy. Keep it up!
9 - Eat before bed time
If you want to add one some COMPLETELY useless rolls of fat then you should have another meal after dinner or at least have your dinner as close as you can to bed time. That way your body will have no chance of burning any of the calories and it will be absorbed straight as fat!
8 - Eat three square meals a day
Follow the old tradition of three square meals a day and watch the weight come on. Not only does it slow your metabolism down but it makes you snack on junk food when you are dying for a meal inbetween big meals. Good idea!
7. Sit on the computer all day
If you are at work or just like reading fitness blogs, it is a great idea to sit on the computer all day long and just read about all the good exercise ideas. It is great for your eye’s, back, neck and gut.
6. Mix carbs and fats
Having a big bowl of pasta covered in a cheese based sauce is a good way to get fat. Mixing the two types of food that are hardest to burn as energy is an excellent way to make sure your food gets converted straight into fat stores.
5. Replace water with sodas
Highly sugared drinks are a sweet replacement for boring old water. Who needs the pure clear stuff that cleanses your organs and quenches your hunger pains when you can have a fattening, teeth rotting, nutrient sucking soda? Not me.
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4. Never eat fruit
Fruit is a boring food that is made up of so many vitamins, minerals and other essential nutrients. Each calorie in a piece of fruit comes with so much benefit attached. It is better to forget about eating this food and opt for breads, man-made cereals and other fatty breakfast choices.
3. Stay up late as often as you can
It is a really good idea to be tired and emotional all day long. That way, to make yourself feel better you can head to the fridge and have some whipped cream and chocolate! It is also a great way to stop your body from processing all the day’s information and preventing a lot of toxins from being sorted out.
2. Never exercise
I think if you want to add weight as fast as you can you just need to stop exercising all together. Exercise boosts your heart rate, boosts your metabolism and burns calories even when you have finished the workout. That means you will stop foods and energies from being absorbed as fat! Bad idea.
1. Never cook your own meals
Eating out or getting take away every day and every night because you are too tired or lazy to cook your own meal is probably the best way to get as fat as you can as fast as you can .Take away foods cripple your body with msg, salt, refined sugar and saturated fats. Perfect!
Comments on this article:
| Swan said: | Great post! |
| RT said: | Thanks Swan! Good to see you are still around here. |
| R said: | hahaha this is hilarious. thanks for the tips! |
| R said: | Hey...I do mostly everything in this article everyday...and I still cannot gain weight . I have been doing everything here for about my whole life. Im 20 years old and not even 100 pounds...so if you can put real ways to get fat up there i would love it , because that wont work for me. |
| P.I said: | Tired of being so skinny. Will definately try it out. |
| Jess said: | What about whole wheat pasta. Is this just as bad as white pasta. |
| Adeel Mulla said: | To those who think the above tips are NOT sarcastic, PLEASE do not use them to gain weight because you're thin...it will also cause you to become very very unhealthy and increase your chances of a heart attack. There are much better ways to gain weight in a healthy way. The tips are to help those of us who are overweight and unhealthy remember how we got there in the first place! |
| sean sheehan said: | i do all of the get fat quik tips but i am still a 21yr old lad who drinks lots ov alcohol and stil only weigh 9 1/4 stone, have u got any other tips? |
| Sean Sheehan said: | can u think of any healthy ways to put on weight without drinkin weight gain milkshakes for the rest of my life? |
| Emily said: | Thanks! Hopefully I gain 50lbs fast! I really need to be 700lbs! Thanks again for all of your help! |
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