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10 EASY ways to get REALLY FAT quickly
Here are ten ways to ensure that you get nice and fat and unhealthy really quickly!
10 - Eat less
Yep. Eating less is a sure fire way to slow down your metabolism, cause you to binge on junk food and make you feel tired and lazy. Keep it up!
9 - Eat before bed time
If you want to add one some COMPLETELY useless rolls of fat then you should have another meal after dinner or at least have your dinner as close as you can to bed time. That way your body will have no chance of burning any of the calories and it will be absorbed straight as fat!
8 - Eat three square meals a day
Follow the old tradition of three square meals a day and watch the weight come on. Not only does it slow your metabolism down but it makes you snack on junk food when you are dying for a meal inbetween big meals. Good idea!
7. Sit on the computer all day
If you are at work or just like reading fitness blogs, it is a great idea to sit on the computer all day long and just read about all the good exercise ideas. It is great for your eye’s, back, neck and gut.
6. Mix carbs and fats
Having a big bowl of pasta covered in a cheese based sauce is a good way to get fat. Mixing the two types of food that are hardest to burn as energy is an excellent way to make sure your food gets converted straight into fat stores.
5. Replace water with sodas
Highly sugared drinks are a sweet replacement for boring old water. Who needs the pure clear stuff that cleanses your organs and quenches your hunger pains when you can have a fattening, teeth rotting, nutrient sucking soda? Not me.
Get some free weight loss advice on our forum!
4. Never eat fruit
Fruit is a boring food that is made up of so many vitamins, minerals and other essential nutrients. Each calorie in a piece of fruit comes with so much benefit attached. It is better to forget about eating this food and opt for breads, man-made cereals and other fatty breakfast choices.
3. Stay up late as often as you can
It is a really good idea to be tired and emotional all day long. That way, to make yourself feel better you can head to the fridge and have some whipped cream and chocolate! It is also a great way to stop your body from processing all the day’s information and preventing a lot of toxins from being sorted out.
2. Never exercise
I think if you want to add weight as fast as you can you just need to stop exercising all together. Exercise boosts your heart rate, boosts your metabolism and burns calories even when you have finished the workout. That means you will stop foods and energies from being absorbed as fat! Bad idea.
1. Never cook your own meals
Eating out or getting take away every day and every night because you are too tired or lazy to cook your own meal is probably the best way to get as fat as you can as fast as you can .Take away foods cripple your body with msg, salt, refined sugar and saturated fats. Perfect!
Comments on this article:
| Swan said: | Great post! |
| RT said: | Thanks Swan! Good to see you are still around here. |
| R said: | hahaha this is hilarious. thanks for the tips! |
| R said: | Hey...I do mostly everything in this article everyday...and I still cannot gain weight . I have been doing everything here for about my whole life. Im 20 years old and not even 100 pounds...so if you can put real ways to get fat up there i would love it , because that wont work for me. |
| P.I said: | Tired of being so skinny. Will definately try it out. |
| Jess said: | What about whole wheat pasta. Is this just as bad as white pasta. |
| Adeel Mulla said: | To those who think the above tips are NOT sarcastic, PLEASE do not use them to gain weight because you're thin...it will also cause you to become very very unhealthy and increase your chances of a heart attack. There are much better ways to gain weight in a healthy way. The tips are to help those of us who are overweight and unhealthy remember how we got there in the first place! |
| sean sheehan said: | i do all of the get fat quik tips but i am still a 21yr old lad who drinks lots ov alcohol and stil only weigh 9 1/4 stone, have u got any other tips? |
| Sean Sheehan said: | can u think of any healthy ways to put on weight without drinkin weight gain milkshakes for the rest of my life? |
| Emily said: | Thanks! Hopefully I gain 50lbs fast! I really need to be 700lbs! Thanks again for all of your help! |
| Obose Akhideno said: | nope! I give up! am never getting fat! have done all these stuff for 30 years and am still as skinny as fido dido! how on earth do people ever get fat? just a little bit of weight is all i ask! i mean, is that too much to as for? there is just no hope for me, is there? |
| Sean O'Malley said: | I have CF and have hard time absorbing nutrients/anything. I do realize that eating a terribly diet takes a toll on ones health however I am also a poor college student and can barely even afford the unhealthy food. Basically I need to eat 3-4x the amount of hardcore organic food allday long everyday. |
| plonk said: | i have been trying to gain weight and it is so bloody hard unike ppl who binge eat when they feel down i do the total opposite if i have other worries i forget to eat..literally forget...the eating before bed time has proved useful for me |
| O,b said: | err i think if you were born skinny it's difficult to get fat soo can you please make something that can help us gain a lil weight there are loads of stuff for people who want to loose weight is it so hard to find something for us :S! any way for all the skinny people feel ok about yourselfs and dont mind what others.. |
| Yen said: | hahahaa.. that's funny.. i never thought it's like that.. |
| hongiee said: | omfg, ROFL ! Uhm iquess ill try ? i'll be back fur the RESULTS! :] |
| wish was fat said: | Thanks so much!!! I am young but tried this and put on 29 lbs. |
| Cranch said: | Thanks for that, I will really try it out, coz I need to gain so much fat as I can, at least I need to add upto 5cm of fat to my skin. Thanks |
| Susan said: | hahahahah I read this but I want need something else 2 get fat!! cause many ways you have on this site,most of them I have being doing for years already and I don\'t get fat! It\'s a routine in my life doing those unhealthy thing butI stay skinny, what can i do????? |
| O.o said: | Thx for the info but ppl hate being healthy now idk whats going on O.o lol |
| steven tetteh said: | help me out, i have a big head but a small body to support it and i want to be fat in order to support it. hey guys tell me what to do. |
| lenny said: | thanks but whenever i eat all the fat goes 2 my butt |
| taymar said: | omg .. ive read this i shud be so fat right now ... i do all that aniiways what elce can i do ... i weigh 6 st i wnt 2 get 2 seven before september how can i do that really fast ?? |
| Zac said: | Eat your food slowly you won't feel full as fast and you can eat more:) got to gain 10 pounds in 6 days |
| akbar said: | sir its really a nice post. |
| Rakesh Sharma said: | I am very thin, but I want to get some fat. I am vegeterian, so If Have any tips, Please tell me.. Thanks |
| Anne said: | You do know that quite a few of the things which you said are just stupid stereotypes on what people think about people who are fat and how they got fat. Then again, this is a health website. The problem though is that if you want to help people then you should not make fun of the people who you want to help. However some people might want to gain lots of fat but still be healthy however it seems that, that kind of view does not go down that well on most health forums. I only would this page because I was looking for "Is it true that the more small you are, the more faster you put on weight." However I found this page and some other pages on Google making fun of fat people and how you should eat out at fast food places to get fat....etc. I myself am trying to find ways to get fat very fast but however I only get results such of this or pages for fitness... Really annoying. That is about it for my rant and I respect that I will never find this page again, what with the internet being such a huge place and everything. |
| mike said: | there is away to get fat with out all of that.go to youre local doctor they have tablets to slow youre matabalism down so you can gain weight. |
